The Skunk Was a Louse: Part 1

Today we’d like to go deeper into the dark world of pet urine problems and what you can do about them.

Ok. So Licky the cat or Towzer the dog had a bad night and you found out the hard way walking to the bathroom in the dark and you stepped in something soft and yielding. Immediately your brain starts riffling through the ten million things your toes could be squished deeply into but at the speed of thought your mind selects and reject each one till there is only one. You know exactly what it is and you also know who done it. Your husband is over on his side of the bed snoring so he gets a pass—this time. The kids don’t poop on the carpet so that leaves your loving mutt or your sweet tender hearted cat Brutus. Worse you took a few steps after putting your foot in it so now even in the dark as the odor rises to your schnozzola you know it’s spread.

What’s a girl to do? Wake the lug and start crying? Good call. Brilliant. Wish I’d have thought of it. You foist it off on hubby and go back to sleep knowing you’ve fulfilled his deepest longings—at least one of his deepest longings—to be needed.

If Hank’s not around and it’s on you first wash your foot, then put the dog outside. With any luck that mountain lion is still around, then start on the clean up. Rubber gloves are nice but if you don’t have any it’s just poo and you’ve cleaned your kids up before so pick it up and put it in the toilet with the paper towels you used to pick it up.

Then a nice fresh terry cloth towel soaking wet and squeezed damp.

From the outside of the stain working inwards push the poo inward. Do not grab repeat do not grab the Dawn Liquid and nuke the spot. We’ll talk about sanitizing later tater. Working from the outside in stops you from smearing the soft serve all over creation and makes clean up easier. Use the clean parts of the towel till you’ve mopped up all the gross stuff. We’ll get to sanitizing next time out.